Lazy Halloween Costumes for Work: 12 Ideas That Take 10 Minutes

Every October someone at work sends a calendar invite called "Halloween Costume Contest," and every October you think about it for exactly as long as it takes to click Accept.

This year Halloween lands on a Saturday, so the office version happens on Friday, October 30. That leaves you a few weeks to plan a costume. You won't, and that's fine. Here are 12 lazy Halloween costumes for work that need no sewing and no trip to a party store. Some use clothes you already own. The rest use one shirt that explains the joke for you, which saves you from explaining it forty times at the coffee machine.

Before you pick: the office rules

An office costume has a harder job than a party costume. You'll wear it in a desk chair for eight hours, type in it, and probably join a video call with a client who doesn't know it's Halloween. So:

• You should be able to sit down. Anything with a tail, wings or a cardboard box is out after lunch.
• People should get it in two seconds. If it needs a backstory, it'll be a long day.
• Nothing your HR team would need a meeting about. Skip anything revealing, anything political, and anything that's a culture rather than a character.

Everything below passes all three.

1. "This Is My Costume"

You need: one shirt and zero shame.

The most honest costume in the building. Wear the This Is My Costume shirt and answer every "What are you supposed to be?" by pointing at it. If you're leaving straight from the office party for something better, there's the version that says you have plans after this.

2. Identity Theft

You need: a "Hello, my name is" sticker and a pen.

Write a coworker's name on the sticker. Ideally someone who'll be at the party. That's the whole costume, and it's been getting laughs since the sticker was invented. It gets better if you and that coworker swap stickers.

3. The Meeting That Should Have Been an Email

You need: the This Could Have Been an Email shirt, a laptop.

Wear the shirt. Carry your laptop everywhere with a slide open that says "Agenda: TBD." If anyone stops to talk, ask whether you can "take this offline" and walk away. Everyone in the building has sat through this meeting, so nobody needs it explained.

4. Out of Office

You need: sunglasses, a beach towel over one shoulder, a sign or sticky note that says "OOO, back Monday."

Answer every question with "I'll get back to you when I return." If your office is relaxed enough for flip-flops, wear flip-flops. If it isn't, the towel does the work.

5. The Reluctant Trick-or-Treater

You need: the Trick or Treat? I'd Rather Not shirt and an empty candy bowl.

Carry the bowl around the party all day. Keep it empty. When someone looks in, shrug at your shirt. It's a costume, a mood and a strategy for keeping the good candy for yourself.

6. 404: Costume Not Found

You need: a plain white T-shirt and a thick black marker.

Write "404" big on the front and "Costume not found" underneath. It takes about four minutes, three of which are finding a marker that hasn't dried out. The IT team will appreciate it more than they let on.

7. Someone Who's Tired

You need: the I'm Dressed As Someone Who's Tired shirt, a very large coffee.

Probably the costume you were going to wear anyway, now with a label. Hold the coffee with both hands for the whole party. Sigh at the costume contest. It's method acting, and it's the most relatable costume in the room by about 3pm.

8. "You're on Mute"

You need: a sticky note.

Stick a note on your chest that says "You're on mute." Mouth your words without sound for the first few minutes of every conversation. Then switch to talking normally and act surprised that anyone could hear you. It gets better the more calls your company has.

9. The Ghost of Your Former Enthusiasm

You need: the I'm a Ghost of My Former Enthusiasm shirt, a printout of last year's goals.

A ghost costume for people who've been in one job long enough to remember the offsite where everyone was excited. Carry the goals around. Sigh at them occasionally. Works especially well in Q4.

10. The Polite No

You need: the Thanks, But No Dad Hat, or the No Tricks. No Treat. shirt if you want it on your chest.

Decline everything. Cake? Thanks, but no. Can you cover the Monday stand-up? Thanks, but no. You're dressed as someone who finally learned to set boundaries, which might be the scariest costume in the building.

11. A Ghost, Technically

You need: one of the BOO shirts.

For people who want something properly Halloween but refuse to commit beyond that. BOO. That's it. says exactly that (women's cut here). The unimpressed ghost is for anyone whose face already says it. Technically a ghost. Fully office-safe.

12. Group costume: The Weekly Sync

You need: one person per role, name tags, optional matching shirts.

For teams that have to do a group costume and would rather not. Everyone becomes a character from your weekly meeting. Write the roles on name tags:

• "Camera's off, I'm listening"
• "Let's take this offline"
• "Sorry, you go. No, you go."
• "Just a quick one" (talks for nine minutes)
• "Can everyone see my screen?"
• The note-taker who never sends the notes

If your team wants to match, everyone can pick a different shirt from the Halloween collection or the office humour shirts, and the name tags do the rest. It photographs well, and nobody has to coordinate fabric.

If you're ordering a shirt for it

Our shirts are printed when you order them, so leave time for that. To have it before Friday, October 30, order by Monday, October 19.

The upside is that you'll wear it again in November. A banana suit can't promise that.

FAQ

What's the easiest Halloween costume for work?

Identity Theft. A name tag with someone else's name on it takes about thirty seconds and people get it instantly. "You're on mute" (a single sticky note) is a close second. If you'd rather spend the thirty seconds online, a "This Is My Costume" shirt is the same idea, already printed.

Does a funny T-shirt count as a Halloween costume?

At work, yes, if it plays a character. A shirt on its own is a shirt. Add one prop (an empty candy bowl, a laptop with "Agenda: TBD" on screen, a very large coffee) and it becomes a costume. Most office costume contests reward the best joke, not the most fabric.

What Halloween costumes should you avoid at work?

Anything revealing, anything with a mask that hides who you are, anything with fake weapons, and anything based on a real culture, religion or political figure. Also anything that stops you from sitting in a chair for eight hours, which rules out more costumes than people expect.

What's a good funny group costume for coworkers?

Pick something everyone already knows, so nobody needs a costume budget. A meeting cast (idea 12), a whole team dressed as "Out of Office," or everyone wearing name tags with each other's names all work with what people already own.

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Still not sure? Pick the one that needs the fewest things you don't already have. That's what everyone else is doing too.